Image – Lily with some news to tell…but Nyla won’t be liking it…
So you might not be aware…but I am now 20 weeks pregnant! At this stage (when I was pregnant with Lily and Nyla) I would have announced it all over Facebook and dedicated two posts to this already. But this time, the whole ‘been there done that’, rings true and I haven’t felt the urgency to announce it to everyone.
I’m really excited but daunted at the thought of being outnumbered – which seems to be the shared sentiment amongst my work colleagues and friends as a look of slight horror and long pause usually precedes the whole “congratulations!” when reacting to my news. Maybe because it might not be common for a working mother to have three kids under 5 – well not in Australia anyway. I just know amongst our own social circle, we are an anomaly.
My husband and I have always said we wanted to have three kids coming from a family of three and five ourselves we had good memories of growing up and love kids. As a child I remember the household is never boring and the chances of you having a playmate is greater and playing a game of monopoly is always emotional – although memorable YEARS later. It’s also handy when you are older to not rely on just one sibling to help you with preparing family birthdays or needing emotional support from someone that will stand by you no matter what (blood is thicker than water right?).
The cons outweigh the pros though. It will be more expensive (daycare, schooling, travel, health, food, extracurricular activities), we will have less sleep, there will be more mess to tidy up, there will be less physical and personal space, the constant fear as parents that something bad will happen to your children will increase, there will be more kid activities from school and hobbies to manage (coordinating drop-offs, birthday parties, multiple homework assignments) I have to go through pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding/sleep settling stage once more – hence all these things equal more stress. And just because you have more kids doesn’t necessarily mean you will all be super close once everyone are adults. And are we injecting more stress in our lives which will impact the relationships we already have which is working just fine (i.e. my husband and I, us with our kids, and Lily and Nyla)?
So why the hell are we doing this then?! Even though we are in a fortunate position mentally and financially now to handle three, things can change in the future. Knowing the cons are greater than the pros really proves that our decision isn’t entirely based on logic.
Now that I’m approaching my mid thirties (by that way that is called ‘advanced maternal age’ by obstetricians), we had to make a decision and it really boiled down to us just both wanting it. Call it crazy maybe but sometimes you just got to go with your gut feeling, be positive, and know that it’s meant to be.